The Rough Report

BOONEVILLE, MS — Local golfer and self-proclaimed “Wedge Assassin,” Dylan Harling, claims he recently embarked on what he calls a “business trip” — a three-man scramble at Booneville Country Club that allegedly ended in triumph…and a suspiciously huge payout.

According to Harling, he’s “a stick” whose wedge game single-handedly carried his team to victory. Eyewitnesses, however, report a slightly different scene. Sources say Harling recruited two of the best sticks he could find, filled their water bottles, and proceeded to get backpacked around the course all day.

“I’m the wedge assassin,” Harling declared confidently. “I was just throwing darts all day. The boys couldn’t have done it without me.”

Despite his claims, several locals who played in the scramble remember Harling mostly riding in the cart, occasionally looking for his golf ball, and praising his partners’ birdie putts from a safe distance.

Still, Harling has not let facts get in the way of a good story. Every day at 4 p.m., he can be found at the local watering hole, Loco Taco, reliving his Booneville CC “business trip” and recounting wedge heroics that grow more dramatic with each retelling.

Though he’s still reportedly searching for his own golf game, Harling has developed a different talent: convincing genuinely good golfers to join his scramble teams.

Locals say it’s all in good fun — but if you find yourself paired with the Wedge Assassin, be prepared to carry more than your own clubs.

• And in even bigger news, friends and locals want to congratulate Dylan for finally proposing — proving that miracles happen both on and off the golf course. Here’s hoping his wedge game shows up for the wedding day photos.