TUNICA, MS – The Rise of “Uncle Roger’s”: Casino Renamed After Local Golfer’s $47 Victory
In an absolutely unprecedented turn of events, Roger Morrow, a local Fulton, MS man with a below-average backswing and an above-average belief in himself, has officially taken down Tunica’s historic casino—with a whopping $47 profit.
Casino officials confirmed early Sunday morning that the building, formerly known as Gold Strike, will now be rebranded as “Uncle Roger’s.”
“We didn’t really have a choice,” said former casino manager Willy, lighting a cigarette with a losing scratch-off. “The man walked out with $47 and a Miller Lite. We were cooked.”
The “Victory”
According to witnesses, Roger stumbled into the casino “looking for his sliced golf ball,” reportedly last seen bouncing off Highway 61. He sat down at a black jack table, order a beer and told the dealer he was “Built Common”. Against all odds, won just enough to fill his gas tank, buy a fountain Coke, and absolutely demolish the casino’s ego.
“He doubled seven three times in a row or something,” said a bewildered security guard. “Next thing we know, he’s on the loudspeaker asking for the deed.”
Uncle Roger’s Vision
Morrow has big plans for the newly acquired casino:
- Free bologna sandwiches on Wednesdays
- A “Sliced Ball Recovery Center”
- Blackjack tables where hitting on 16 is encouraged, not judged
- And a golf simulator called “Far Right”
“This place needed a winner,” Roger said while counting his crumpled ones. “And I’m that guy.”
The Rough Report 
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